A dear friend of mine, Jogger_615, has this vision she’s been dialoguing with me about for while now. It’s not huge but it’s a step and right now baby steps are needed. I can see a vision of the future, including very diverse people, and it seems unreachable right now but I know with a few baby steps here and there before we know it we’ll be closer to the fulfillment of the vision than we were in the beginning.
Jogger_615 wants to make sandwiches. She then wants to take these sandwiches and head down to a few local homeless hotspots in the city and hand these sandwiches out to whomever we find there. I like the idea. I think it’s a step. My sister, dissonance_n_desire, added to the vision giving out warm fleeces to those at these hotspots as well. I like that idea too, something that can last a little bit longer than a meal. So, I had a pretty good conversation with Jogger_615’s husband, Freeland, a few weekends ago about this vision she has been having. We prodded into it a little more deeply and I feel like I came away with some good things to think about. I’m just amazed at how naïve even our greatest intent can be. How easy is it to see a need in others, come up with this great way to fill that need and not even realize that your little plan could be rejected by those you seek to serve, even if they need what you have to offer. It’s easy to get prideful about it (you and your little world making humanity greater). But what happens when, even if you have the most humble of hearts and intentions, get rejected? I guess I’d never thought of that as being a possibility until the conversation with Freeland. But quite honestly it very well could be rejected. It reminds me of the scene in Rent that I sometimes claim as being my favorite (depending on the week):
BLANKET PERSON
Who The Fuck Do You Think You Think
You Are?
I Don't Need Any Goddamn Help From
Some Bleeding Heart Cameraman
My Life's Not For You To Make A
Name For Yourself On!
ANGEL
Easy Sugar, Easy
He Was Just Trying To--
BLANKET PERSON
Just Trying To Use Me To Kill His
Guilt
It's Not That Kind Of Movie,
Honey Let's Go - This Lot Is Full
Of Motherfucking Artists
Hey Artist You Gotta Dollar?
I Thought Not
Powerful. So, Velma who the fuck do you think you are? I’m ashamed I’d never even thought about the event possibly going like this until now. It scares me that I was so quick fix a problem I saw because I thought I could do something better. And what other way could be better than the way I came up with? (please note the number of times I appears in the previous 2 sentences, see how easy it is to get self focused?) But, what if I stopped to think about what the other person might think about my visit. Would they be excited? Would they be scared? Would that think I was trying to stroke my own ego? Would they even accept the gift? Would they give anything back in return? Would I even accept any gift they might give in return, or might I think their possible gifts inadequate and not worth my attention? What might I find if I put on the shoes of another to take a step closer into reality?
Freeland and I left the conversation realizing these were very important things to consider before embarking on the journey. So, I got to thinking. What would a conversation on this night look like? I thought back to the 20+ people I’ve met recently, in the past few weeks, and I thought about how most the conversations went.
Hi, I’m _____ (fill in name)
Oh, hi I’m ______ (fill in
name)
It’s really nice to meet you, so what do you do?
Oh, I
_______(fill in occupation) (possibly followed by a elaborate job description if
you’re lucky)
You?
Oh, I ________(fill in occupation) (followed
by another elaborate job description if you’re lucky)
So, what brings you
here (explain the invitation you received, association with others at the
gathering or reason why you should be there)
Now, the dialogue can go on from there but typically won’t go much further than that at the initial stages of meeting unless you (or they) mentioned something in the detailed job description or association that they related with.
Now, let’s see what this form dialogue might look like on our sandwich/fleece giving escapade.
Hi, I’m _____ (fill in name) (we’re doing ok)Well that conversation was nice and short!
Oh, Hi, I’m
______ (fill in name) (were still doing ok)
It’s really nice to meet you, so what do
you do? (Eww,we’re
not doing so ok)
So, if our typical conversations would not do justice in this circumstance, why do we believe or even accept them into our own dialogues. And further yet, what kind of conversation can we engage in then? What would something different look like?
As I began to unpack a few of the ideas and run mock dialogues in my mind, I realized a different type of dialogue could have the potential to become much more intimate much more quickly. The dialogue would probably be centered, again, on commonalities. But at face value what commonalities does everyone share? What does everyone have? As I began to think about this it didn’t go very far. All I’ve come up with so far is family and upbringing. Everyone has a family/families (well kind of) and everyone has a story about their upbringing. But everything else seems so ambiguous.
So, what I’m trying to say is that we have a lot to learn about the way we interact with others and I believe if we got a hold of this we would actually begin to see others as a little more equal to ourselves. I mean, I say I believe the least of these are but do I really believe it? And if I did, would I really be as vulnerable with them about my life and our commonalities as I would hope them to be? I guess I’m learning a lot already and I haven’t even given a single sandwich or fleece out yet. If anything, I’m beginning to see how I fit right in and I’m damn well excited about it.
1 comment:
Thanks for your comments, Velma. We will keep searching this out together!!!
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